Happy 1st Birthday my sweet child!

Happy birthday Ali Redha! Ummi is a bit late but you know, people always say that it’s better late than never and it is the thought that counts.

Every child has their own set of rezq. When we think of rezq, we think of abundance wealth and wealth doesn’t always come in the form of money. It can spiritual, mental or physical wealth. Well, I believe my son, Ali Redha, is born to save me.

When he was born, he had to do a blood test to ensure that everything about him is fine. When the results came back, there was an abnormality.  Unfortunately, he was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. Basically, his thyroid glands are under producing. As a parent, my heart was crushed. I took care of this pregnancy so much more than when i was carrying Umar.

Truth was, I couldn’t believe the report. Could it be a mix up? I mean how can it happen when I took care of the pregnancy (or so I thought). We were given two options. One was to keep doing blood test weekly till he is six weeks old in the hope that the abnormality disappears by chance or we can start medication immediately. The medication, according to Dr Google and our paediatrician,  can stabilise the condition if treated at an early stage. However, for the life of me, I CANNOT comprehend how to administer drugs to this little being. I chose the former although it was equally painful to see him suffer getting pricked every single time. Despite my efforts to go on a strict diet of only cod fish, spinach and vegetable oil everyday, the next two blood tests still showed the same results. Not helping that he showed symptoms of it – barely audible crying, sleeps alot. Basically, this sweet baby who requires little attention is suffering from a condition called hypothyroidism.

We had only one last blood test to do before the paediatrician referred us to a specialist and medications will have to be administered. Amazingly, the last blood test’s results were borderline.  Our paedetrician sent the report to a specialist for a second opinion and the specialist assured her that his condition will stabilise and Ali is going to be fine. Alhamdulillah.

Then you know how everything became ok and you start to be complacent again? Well, I started binging on sugar again and Ali developed rashes on his back. It started as just a patch but soon after his vaccination, it spreads like wildfire. We even went to a specialist in Malaysia in the hope of getting things sorted out.  We did get an answer though. We had to wait out till his immune system gets stronger. For the time being, all we could do was wait.

I went on a total diet overhaul. No sugar, minimal bread, bittergourd juice everyday and I saw vast improvements. Healing definitely takes time but we are reaching there.

Several months later, I was diagnosed with auto immune disease. The abnormality was too high that my GP suggested me to see a specialist immediately and stop breastfeeding totally because the medicine is not safe for babies. I was asked to come back again almost immediately so he can do a more thorough test.  In his words “we need to know which of your organs are failing”. He also mentioned to not get my hopes up high because due to my extreme blood test results, there is almost no way for the blood levels to go back to normal. I was not scared for myself. I was scared for not being able to feed Ali because deep down inside I know Ali needs my milk and I am the only one who can give him what he needs through what I eat. That week, I increase my dosage of bittergourd juice and kale to twice a day and took my probiotics regularly. When the blood tests came back, the doctor was surprised that it went back to normal and his words were “I can’t believe it and I totally cannot explain what happened”.

So yes, Ali. You are indeed my saviour and Allah has indeed put you under my care for specific reasons.

Because of you, my physical wealth has increased to multi folds. I do still treat myself once in a while but nothing like “I can’t live without chocolates”.

Because of you too, my spiritual wealth has improved. I’ll just share an excerpt from Yasmin ‘ s book – Purification of the Heart.

“I still remember the desperation. In the deep disappointment which often follows self-reflection, I turned to my Creator to plead. I turned to plead – but not for what can be measured, bought,  sold or traded. It was desperation for a truer currency. With my flaws suddenly made open to me, I became desperate to be liberated from the tyranny of my own nafs (lower desires). I became desperate to be a better person. And so, handing my heart to Allah, I prayed that I might be purified. And while I had always held to firm faith that God is the Hearer of the prayers, I never imagined when – or how – that prayer would be answered.”

You have indeed bring bountiful of rezq to the family. You taught us patience, perseverance and determination. You gave us the space to grow to be better parents each day. You gave us the opportunity to be a better servant to Allah. May you also be the reason for us to meet again in Jannah Firdausi.

“Whenever a Muslim is afflicted with any harm, even if it were the prick of a thorn, but that Allah expiate his sins because of that, as a tree sheds it’s leaves.” [Bukhari]